A marriage requires vitality, too. Like the body, it contains many working parts that operate in an intricate network to enhance its survival. And these “parts” require constant nourishment in order to function at peak efficiency. Many individuals are health conscious. They eat balanced meals, exercise– generally take care of their bodies. In contrast, there are those who abuse their bodies for any number of reasons, for example, “I don’t have time to eat a healthy meal, I’m too busy taking care of business.” This indicates, despite the best of intentions, where on the value hierarchy they place “physical health.”

Many individuals have effective marriages. They relate to one another in healthy ways. That is, their communication contains a diet of ingredients that promote longevity, satisfaction, quality. On the other hand, there are those whose marriages consist of diet lacking in essential nutrients. The diet of ingredients that promotes a healthy marriage is truly an enigma in a society, replete with separate careers, lifestyles and divorce. Yet, there are qualities, which, despite environmental threats to a marriage, can help sustain it. Some of these include:

• 1- Clear communication. The art of relating to one another so that each understands that his or her message has been received, evaluated and consequated with a response. Essential to success in this endeavor is remembering that a statement (or question) by one partner should be followed with an acknowledgement, which in turn ought to generate another acknowledgement. For example, “How do you feel about renovating some space downstairs as an office for me?” “Well, I suppose we could section off a piece opposite the laundry room. How soon do you realistically need it done?” “By summer would be nice.” As opposed to: “How do you feel about renovating some space downstairs as an office for me?” “Hmm (head down while shrugging shoulders).” Since a marriage involves the belief systems of two individuals, it is vital to communicate effectively in a variety of areas such as: Expectations, aspirations, decision making, assignment of tasks, and values to name a few.
• 2- Conflict resolution. The strategies couples use to “clean house” can facilitate a showcase marriage. Too often when in conflict, each spouse maneuvers his or her position to achieve success. That is, to convince that partner he or she is correct. A more useful option is to emphasize creating solutions rather than victories by incorporating issues beyond the one in question into the dialogue. When this happens: “You know, once in awhile you could take Billy to play practice. He’s beginning to think his father is a figment of his imagination.” “That’s not true! I do lots of things with him.” “Yeah, like what?” Perhaps you could try: “You know, once in awhile you could take Billy to play practice. He’s beginning to think his father is a figment of his imagination.” “And what can you imagine me doing with you tonight if I should do that?”
• 3- “Comptrolling” the household. Financial management can frequently be the linchpin of a successful marriage. Agreement about budgets, spending, savings, long-term goals and other financial matters are of vital importance.
• 4- Leisure and pleasure. All work and no play can make for a dull, ineffective relationship. Marriages need the nourishment that hobbies, interests, exciting sexual encounters and recreation affords each partner.
• 5- Parenting. Utilizing effective communicating skills to decide how to raise children in terms of education, discipline, religion and other family dimensions. You are what you eat. And your marriage is what you put into it.

Thus, developing and maintaining as many healthy ingredients as possible is sure food for thought!