So the question is this: Do you want to learn how to “manage” or “tame” your anger, or would you rather learn how to have a response other than an angry one in tense situations?

You see, in order to be able to manage anger, what must be there first? Of course… anger! “Anger” doesn’t exist by itself. A person doesn’t “have” anger; he responds angrily to a set of events or circumstances. It’s a verb, not a noun.

There is a paradox afoot here. The idea is to shed anger and yet by learning to manage it, you are actually learning to notice it… better! That is, you become more aware of your “anger.” Now, you can not become more aware of something without re-experiencing it to some degree. Hence, in the process of talking about your anger, as a way of managing it, you will often find yourself becoming more angry!

The trick is to learn to pay attention to what we call the “signals in the system” or your sensory responses to those testy situations that immediately precede a blow-up. For example, do you clench your fists? Does your breathing change, say, from low in your abdomen to high in your chest? Any change in temperature– warm or cold? I will teach you to pay attention to these signals and then… change them, so you can go where anger is simply … not.

Call for an appointment: 845-226-2356