“It’s like being on a skate board rolling down a mountain of greased glass– I’m not living life. It’s living me!”
<?xml:namespace prefix = o /> This is a typical comment from someone who believed herself a victim of circumstances. Most of us have slid down that greased glass mountain at one time or another. Bad experiences may place us out of control, and that can affect the way in which we conduct our lives. Major personal disasters such as death, divorce or bankruptcy can shove us over the precipice. The amassed trivia of every day living can inch us over it. Either way, the ride can be quite unpleasant.
On the way down, many people simply surrender control of their lives to “fate”, or “reality.” However, if you are willing to examine a different viewpoint of reality, perhaps you can learn to make a difference in some of your experiences. Sir William Gilbert once said, “If a man can’t forge his own will, whose will can he forge?” (A useful addition: “… and a forgery is simply an original, original!”). How many times during the course of a dilemma have you daydreamed about solving it, only to decide that your solution was not “realistic”, but a fantasy? The end result is that you come back down to earth and suffer some more because that is “real!”
 In an alternative model of “reality”, what is real is individually determined by the information your senses receive and represent as sights, sounds and feelings (and occasionally, scents and tastes). It is virtually meaningless to discuss a reality “out there.” The essence of this article you are reading now may provide a different meaning than to your neighbor reading the same words. We all have our own maps of reality; and no one’s map represents the entire territory! Furthermore, an internal representation (mental picture, dialogue, and feeling) is as real an experience as an observation you make on the outside. And experiences gathered by your senses can become powerful resources capable of producing more choices to help you create useful, satisfying changes in your life.
 Care to try an unusual exercise? Read on. First examine a situation you wish to change. Are you newly divorced, trying to cope simultaneously with emotional pain and a new standard of living? Perhaps professional obligations leave you no time for family and private concerns. Try to experience the situation in as many senses as possible. Can you clearly see the situation you wish to change–color, shapes, texture– in your mind’s eye? Gently squeeze your left hand into a fist only as tightly as you are able to create the scene. Hold for a moment and release. As you look at things, can you tune into any sounds, voices in your head? Squeeze that hand, again only as tightly as you can hear something. What feelings (tension, aches, temperature changes, etc.) does the situation touch off? Squeeze again for feelings. Now, make a left-hand fist and experience the sights, sounds and feelings of the situation at the same time. Come back… Often a bad situation from which you need to be rescued, is the result of having too few choices available in which it may be resolved. Driving screws through metal can be difficult if you only have a hammer. Choices pile up in your favor as a result of past learning; and these experiences stored inside, are resources that can help you change.
 Can you think of one time when you had access to creative and confident ideas; a time when you could handle anything that came up? Make a clear picture of this resource scene. Take your time, and squeeze your right hand into a fist only as tightly as you begin to see it clearly. Then try and recall any sounds you heard during this time. Again squeeze that right hand as you tune in. How were you feeling inside during this confident, creative experience? Squeeze that hand once more as you can solidify your feelings about the resource situation. Then squeeze your right fist once more and experience the sights, sounds and feelings simultaneously. Enjoy these sensations for a moment, then return, refreshed and ready to continue…
 Now the first situation about which you would like to have more choices in solving is very valuable. Its presence is an indication that you need to experience a powerful change. Gently squeeze your left hand into a fist, returning to that experience until you can once again see, hear and feel what was happening. Imagine how it would have been different if you could have used your resource (right fist) in that circumstance. Then slowly and simultaneously squeeze your right fist as much as you need, while holding the left one, in order to experience the first situation differently. Finally, clasp both hands together and squeeze… Notice any new choices which may occur to you. Rescue yourself.