The Phoenix was a mythical bird believed to have risen from the ashes of destruction and soared forth as a symbol of new life. Sometimes in the course of our lives, we have to perform that same feat. We do not always win our heart’s desire. Businesses fail. Marriages terminate. Children leave home. Loved ones die. Homes are destroyed.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o /> Right now you could access the internal states of consciousness for reviewing and reliving all of your personal (and potential) losses. However, this is not about one- thousand-and-one ways to recreate “loss.” It’s about surviving those losses and moving on. Survival here has to do with change. Each of your experiences is represented through one or more senses (called, “representational systems”). For example, ending a marriage may be best be remembered as an internal feeling (i.e., nervous stomach, numbness, tears, shortness of breath).
 Additionally, there may also be a visual component to this state of consciousness such as an internal picture of a very painful– or even one time pleasant– scene together. There might even be an olfactory piece. Perhaps she always wore a specific perfume such as, “Ciara.”
 Quite often, what you perceive through these representational systems becomes “anchored” or attached to the state of consciousness in which they were first experienced. Accordingly, at such times you experience certain feelings, visualizations, songs, scents, and so forth, you would likely access that painful state of consciousness called, “ending your marriage”. Once an occasion is anchored through sensory experience to some state of consciousness, you need only fire off that anchor (i.e., have that sensory experience) and the state of consciousness containing that occasion recurs. In the preceding example, assuming an olfactory component is part of the anchor, you may pass a woman wearing “Ciara” and instantly access the state of consciousness containing un- pleasant feelings and scenes associated with the termination of your marriage.
 This example illustrates the general process through which people recycle pain and misery. For example, Did you know the feeling we call, Disappointmen”, requires adequate planning? You have to fire-off some anchor– perhaps review an internal movie of your spouse with another person, then add sound– in order to get back to that state of consciousness containing Disappointment; and that is an art we master!
 What becomes useful to change, in order to survive a loss, is the power an anchor has in recreating an unpleasant experience. One way to accomplish this is to re-label the experiences that are anchored in a specific fashion to have a different meaning. To illustrate using the preceding example, think of the most entertaining person you have ever met. Try and tune into what that individual said– even recreating the same tone of voice, inflections and rhythm. Can you see in your mind’s eye just how that person appeared? Be sure to view it brightly and, if possible, in color. How were you feeling inside as you experienced those sights and sounds? Pause, take all the time you need in order to really grasp those feelings so they are solid…
 Now, while in this state of consciousness, pay attention to the scent of “Ciara.” Stay with it until your association of that scent with the new state is unmistakable. The next time you experience “Ciara” on the outside, notice if you then access this new state of consciousness with its attendant pleasant components. Some people anchor losses with a song. “Oooh! (sigh) They’re playing “Endless Love” again. Turn it off!” Others focus on places, or use types of food, time, feelings– even other people, to anchor misery and suffering. The same process of re-labeling experience may be used in these instances. Follow pleasant thoughts about a new individual, business venture or home with “our song”, or “that picture”, or “those feelings” which previously served as anchors for unpleasant states. Instead of rehashing and recycling your loss the way a cow does food, rise from the ashes of your own misery: Re-anchor and survive.