Any suggestions on overcoming the seemingly innate tension between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” />
 
Begin by putting your at-tension someplace else.  What do Mothers- and-daughters-in-law share in common?  Perhaps several things: for one, the love for a third person— a son, a husband.  They could enjoy the same activities, foods, entertainment; or perhaps both could be mothers.  The relationship between mother and child is like no other.  From conception, through birth, and child rearing, the presence of a child in a mother’s life leads to changes in development, attitudes, skills and perceptions in both individuals.  And from this process, a bond is generated that is unique and often lasts a lifetime. 
 
Think how much a daughter-in-law can learn about her husband by exploring this bond with his mother in a useful and open manner!  Often at her very best, a mother-in-law has raised a son through all the trials and tribulations of childhood and adolescence.  Like this that mother can bring the very same wisdom and patience to bear in relating with her daughter-in-law.  Additionally, that same mother can come to understand her son’s contemporary values and desires by communicating effectively with his wife; her daughter-in-law.  In this way, rather than first planning to ‘overcome’ a problem, both parties are simply going where the problem is not.