Swinging through the trees, muscles tensed as wind and loose vines wrap around his massive frame, barely maintaining his grip, he arrives home perspiring and breathing heavily. The rhythm of his might skips a beat these days; his hairline is receding and graying. He is still King, although the weight of the scepter in his hand has become quite noticeable. Entering the tree hut he calls home, Jane embraces him and asks, “How did it go today, honey?” Exhausted, he replies, “It’s a real jungle out there”…

Fran knows it’s a jungle out there, too. Recently divorced, she was left with the arduous task of raising two adolescent children. The needs of a college freshman and high school senior placed financial and emotional pressures on her. Fran had to suddenly provide funds for her son’s college education…alone. There were questions about a future career to discuss…alone. Her high school senior daughter was suddenly receiving several young men at home. How should Fran handle this? Her daughter’s grades were falling. What advice could she offer? Her ex-husband had usually intervened in academic matters, as he held the position of Dean of Students at a local college. Now Fran is the family counselor, professor and provider.
Helene, too, had become enmeshed in the thicket of single- parenting. She frequently experienced guilt feelings after her estranged husband moved out of the home, as she believed herself responsible for separating her two children from their father.
Frank, a school teacher, learned a lesson when his wife left him with two children to live with another man. Longing for the intimate companionship that had been missing in his marriage, Frank ventured into the jungle only to feel like he had been thrown to the wolves. Confused, lonely, and still reacting to “bad anchors” (i.e., visions, sounds and feelings of past situations) at home, Frank has had to learn jungle warfare and child care while simultaneously remaining the family provider.
Sue’s husband left her with an infant, six years ago. She has had to care for her son with only the support and assistance of her mother. Working for a large firm to support herself and delicate balance between her own personal needs, such as friends, dating, hobbies; and those of her son, which often entailed academic meetings with teachers, the acquisition of daytime babysitters, doctors appointments, home discipline and emotional support.
Those among you who have found it necessary to enter the jungle may recognize some of these problems: Providing financially for a family and balancing a budget alone; combating guilt feelings concerning the separation of children from their father (or mother); or those same feelings for leaving the children at home in order to explore the dating scene; and attending to the children’s emotional and academic needs while, perhaps, trying to satisfy your own (which may include finding a companion who is willing to acclimate himself to another adult who happens to have children; and the problems that may ensue). This can often be a dangerously overwhelming place in which you may feel hopelessly lost, unless you are armed with the tools necessary to blaze a trail toward the “clearing” of successful single- parent management. These tools are highly individualized resources which rep- resent experiences from one’s own past that were handled effectively. How can you access the resources necessary to function successfully s a single parent? Be sure to read next week’s column in which a story may provide some new links in your chain of choices!